Understanding how to control your state is crucial in order to skyrocket your success

Controlling Your State

Why do we have a hard time controlling our state? By this I mean why do we feel that sometimes we are in the zone and we feel like we own the world, but then there are those days were we feel no certainty at all and lack self-confidence? Have you ever participated in a basketball game where you have made most of your three point shots? And then there are some days where you didn’t make any shots and felt totally lazy or out of it. The reason most people can remain in a peak zone where they can achieve the best out of everything in life is because they can control their internal state really well. If don’t master your state, you will be living a life that will feel like it has no meaning at all.

When we master our state we can become better communicators and high achievers because we will constantly be operating with a lot of energy. Your state is determined by how you are representing your external world. For example a sales person may think that if a client is trying to ask for a low price on a product, that they may be taking advantage. This immediately puts the sales person in a state where he/she feels the negative emotions and anger as a result of this. How will the sales person react towards the client? Their voice tone will change and their ego will get in the way so they will decide not to deal with the client. Maybe the client tried taking a little advantage or maybe their intention was just to get some pricing options. Regardless of what their intention was, you will react and judge based on the internal representation that your mind has created. If a man calls his girlfriend and she doesn’t pick up the phone, he instantly starts getting doubts in his mind and thinks that she is with another man. His internal state will start having a major effect on how his body feels as well.

How to control your state

Proper nutrition- In order to master your state you have to make sure that you eat the right foods because they will determine the state that your body will be in as well. If you eat shitty food it will have a major impact on your body and how you move throughout the day.

Change your internal representation- If you have developed a belief thinking that you are not good at driving stick shift, than your brain will signal your body to feel a certain way. This means that the next time that you have to drive stick shift car, you will feel nervous since your internal representation is wired in a way to think that “I am not good at driving stick”. If you have a hard time finding success and keep failing constantly, make a habit of developing a belief that can make you perceive your failure in a positive way. You will notice that once you start perceiving failure in a positive way, your body and mind will still be at peak state and you will still be full of energy and motivation regardless of the amount of failure you are experiencing.

Moving from present state to desired state- The reason many people lose motivation is because they fail to create a clear image in their mind about the outcome of accomplishing what they want. When you have a strong desire and can see images (and can also make a strong emotional connection) to your desired state, you will instantly feel like you have a lot of energy and motivation. Make sure that you can think of very solid reasons for why you want to achieve the goals that you want and what the outcome will be after you have accomplished that goal.

What state of mind are you in right now? Pay attention to how you are reacting to the external world. Keep in mind that towards the end of the day it is your mental and emotional state that will be playing a major role in determining your level of self-confidence and your level of accomplishment.

Adjusting your mental state to achieve happiness…

Many people won’t take the time to learn about themselves and study their own behaviors and attitudes. If we become open to learning more about our mental and emotional state, we can have great success in our lives. We can also be really aware of how we emotionally react to the external world. The reason many people are constantly operating in a negative state of mind is because they haven’t taken the time to study themselves, therefore they remain unconscious. Think about the last time that you argued with your spouse or family member and picture what you said, how you felt during the conversation, and how you reacted afterwards. If you are an individual with a lot of awareness, you will enter a conflict with a lot of awareness as well, therefore you will be able to control your state better.

I also suggest reading Major Causes of Unhappiness

Jealousy and hatred are the two main states that many people have a hard time letting go of. When you are operating in a state of joy, then you will notice that opportunities will come your way and you will meet amazing people on your journey. The point that you may argue with me is, “Nabil we are human aren’t we suppose to feel negative emotions to express ourselves”.  Yes we are human and we feel these emotions, however the question is how do we train our minds to handle these feelings? Are you going to let anger and hatred be part of your competitive personality also? Having a competitive mindset is great and challenges but if we let negative emotions be part of our competitive mindset then our ego will interfere with our competitive mindset. Soon we will find ourselves arguing over useless stuff that will drain out all of our energy.

There is no single secret to success…

Everyone wants that one answer that will solve all their problems in life. Many of us think that if we master one skill or technique to get rid of negativity, then we will be able to live a happy life with no problems. The fact is that our mind and emotions are very complex and there are various factors that play a role in developing a healthy state of mind. When you are trying to change at a deeper level, there is no magic formula to do this. Many people get into strict dieting but fail to sustain their healthy eating habit in the long run because they don’t take the time to train themselves mentally (which requires a shit load of discipline!).

A great way to get rid of all of your anxiety…

There is nothing wrong with being afraid. Actually, being worried about something that needs attention is required and is also part of human nature. However, most of us worry about things that are not important at the present moment. Yes, it is true that some people suffer from more anxiety than others (a genetic factor), but it doesn’t mean that they can’t change their thinking to get rid of their unhealthy thinking patterns.

Focus on what you want rather than focusing on useless problems that your mind has created

When you worry about what other people are thinking of you and are living in a world of fear, you will mostly likely attract problems and people that are negative also. However, the moment you focus on your goals and aspirations, you will be conditioning your mind to be in a positive state. The problem is that most of us are blinded from the opportunities that life presents us with. I remember times where I would get caught up on worrying about small things throughout the day, and it really had a major impact on my ability to focus. However, when I knew exactly what I wanted out of my life and had total clarity about who I was and what I valued, I would see opportunities all around.

Our perceptions of the world determine the reality we create in our minds…

One of the hardest things to control is having a positive outlook when problems arise. I don’t want to tell you that just thinking positive will solve your issues. However, I do want to state that your perceptions of the world determine how you feel and act. If you see yourself struggling and are always complaining, you will view life as a never ending struggle. However, if you see struggling as a motivating factor that will get you to your ultimate goal, then struggling becomes fun because you have made up a positive mental image in your mind that will lead you to emotionally react in a positive way no matter how difficult life gets.

By wrapping this up I wanted to mention that personal growth is a continuous journey and it takes time to really understand the fundamentals of the nature of the human mind and emotions. We cannot solve every one of our problems in one day or use a technique, otherwise we wouldn’t be considered human. The points above will hopefully help you gain more awareness and help you on your personal growth journey in the long run.

Not being able to accept problems as they come your way….

Problems are a part of everyday life, however many people have a hard time accepting problems and start to run away from them. The last thing you want to do is procrastinate and think that leaving a problem that needs attention will solve an issue. In the past I thought that if one major problem were to be solved then life would become easy. We have a natural habit of wanting ease & comfort in life because we don’t want to go through the pain of feeling uncomfortable. The truth is that life consists of a series of problems, and the more we start to accept this, the happier we will feel. The reason many people feel depressed is because they fail to accept reality, therefore they think that they deserve a life that is problems free.

I suggest that you read The Reason You Feel Dissatisfied With Your Life to learn more about why you feel dissatisfied.

Patience is required to solve any problem

Have you ever had a tangled cable that has been sitting by your desk for a few weeks and as you try to hurry and untangle the cable cord it becomes tangled even more? We know that there is a problem but we fail to focus fully and take the time to solve the problem. When you don’t take the time to solve problems that need your attention right away, they start building up and you will see yourself getting really stressed out.  When you have patience, any problem can be solved.

Being dependent on others…

Many of us have a hard time being independent so we start depending on others for our happiness.  Personal relationships fail because we start getting dependent on others for our happiness and well-being since we feel insecure about ourselves. We constantly feel like we don’t have the ability to find our own happiness. The people that have the self-confidence to be responsible for their own happiness are the ones that are the most successful in all areas of their life. They don’t seek validation from others and they are totally clear about what their goals and values are.

To find out more about how you can gain more self-confidence, I suggest that you read The Reason You Have No Confidence!

Most of your Pain is coming from judging the past….

Many of us feel unhappy and feel resistance emotionally and mentally because we are too caught up in our egoic mind (author Eckhart Tolle mentions this in The Power of Now). Our mind is also caught up with a lot of chatter constantly judging people or events that have occurred in the past. Our past soon becomes our identity and we fail to be present in our everyday lives. You will notice that when you talk to many people, they will sometimes not fully be engaged in a conversation because their mind is somewhere else. Often times the internal chatter that goes on inside our minds are from judging something that occurred in the past.

I have been on OkCupid.com for a while now and I want to share some helpful tips with you so that you don’t spend 12 hours a day messaging a million women without getting a single response.

Make sure that you message women that have a high match percentage…

As you are browsing and looking for women to message, you will see that on the right side there will be a box that states a match percentage (ex. 50% Match). OkCupid determines the match percentage based on the words you have used to describe yourself on your profile as well as how specifically you have filled out the match questions. Why should you message women that show a high match percentage? I have noticed that when I message women that have a lower than 50% match, I will get minimum responses or women will block me. The reason this happens is because women usually get stormed with a million guys that want to have a conversation with them and they don’t have much time to respond to all the messages. They don’t want to waste time clicking on a profile that shows a low match percentage, even if you feel that you are a good match.  If you want OkCupid to organize the list of women based on match % then all you have to do is click on the top tab that says Order by and select match %. After you select this option, all the high match % women will be listed first.

To learn more about how to get more responses from women I suggest you read How To Get More Dates Using Online Dating

Be very specific when describing yourself on the Self-summary section…

On your Self-summary, which is the first category that you have to fill out for your OkCupid profile, you want to make sure that you use descriptive words that define your personality and your values. The more specific you can be about describing yourself, the higher your chances are of women that will respond to your dating profile. Also, as you get more specific in describing yourself you will also be adding more keywords. Keywords are good because if one day a woman decides to search the word surfing (if she is interested in man who surfs), then if you added surfing as part of your description, she will spot your profile.

The up side and down side of sending the same exact message to multiple women…

Should you send the same opening message to all women? YES and NO. The reason you should send the same first (opening message) to all women is that if you come up with a message that is very hilarious and ballsy that can make a woman laugh, then you can use the same message and send them to other women (but make sure that you still read every woman’s profile).  So what SHOULDN’T you do if you decide to send messages that are more personalized to each woman? Make sure that you don’t sound boring. There have been many time where I have sent messages to different women and never got a single reply. I went back and looked at my sent messages folder and noticed that many of my messages that I sent were very boring and lacked depth.

To learn more about how to send messages that are not boring, I suggest that you read 7 Ways Men Can Be More Successful At Online Dating

Why following up will double your chances of getting replies from any woman….

Have you heard of the phrase follow up?!! Many people forget to follow up with everything in life. They forget to follow up with clients, college application statuses, and other important things as well. Well the same principle applies when messaging women; if you do not have any discipline to follow up with them, it shows that you are not trying to put any effort into getting to know them. It doesn’t mean you have to bother them every two hours like a creeper. Follow up with women that haven’t messaged you back after maybe 3 or 4 days and let them know you are stopping by to say “Hi”. You will be surprised by the replies that you will get back when you do this. The great thing about OkCupid is that it lets you have a lot of free storage space for your email, therefore if you find your mailbox getting full, you can delete the old messages you sent (the ones that got you no replies) and free up more room so you can keep messaging other women.

What are you waiting for? Get online and start dating!!:)

If you have a self-confidence issue, you should read Overcoming Mental Blocks

You get all these imaginary thoughts popping back in your head and you force yourself to stop thinking about them but you have a hard time. You finally get back to reality while you are pouring your coffee. After all, those imaginary thoughts you were having were useless right? Wait, but where those thoughts useless? Why are you afraid to think about your dream? Do you think it is childish and embarrassing? Why are you living a life full of fear?

Why do you have a vision but are afraid to follow through and take action on your goals???…

You have vision BUT no commitment

Many people have vision but only a few are committed to following through with their dreams to create the life they really want to live every day. Commitment is essential to living the life that you really want to live. We all know exactly what we have to do to get the results that we want but are not committed. This is why we start dreaming about the life we want instead and wish that someday our dream will come true.

You have developed poor belief systems

Your belief systems are generated by your surroundings and what you have experienced in the past. If you don’t take control of your destructive belief systems, you will have a hard time building mental toughness. I am sure you have come across many people that complain about life and criticize other people. The reason they do this is because over the past few years they have generated a poor belief system and have developed their view of the world though those beliefs. The same people will also get very emotional when things don’t work out for them.

When you develop a positive and powerful belief system, your body creates more energy and you will be committed to taking action. You won’t lack self-confidence and drive. When we doubt an outcome, we will fail to take required action, therefore our subconscious mind won’t be at peak state (when you are certain that you will achieve something, your subconscious will be working fully and will constantly look for opportunities).

To learn more about how to get rid of limiting beliefs read How To Get Past All Your Limiting Beliefs

Using reframing techniques to get rid of all your fear…..

One of the best ways to get rid of all your fears is to start reframing your past experiences. Reframing means that you change the perception of something. Your past experiences are determining how you view your reality of the world. If you have been through a frightening event in the past, then the memory will be attached to your present moment reality and you will constantly live in fear. You may have had a horrible experience where you went to a job interview and got declined or were told that you were not a good enough fit for the position. If you have experienced anything like this in the past, the experience may be stopping you from applying to positions/jobs that you really desire (since the past experience will change your emotional state).

Many people that face challenges have a negative perception of the world and have a hard time seeing opportunities around them because they are too caught up thinking about their problems. There are a few however who face difficult circumstances in life but still see a world full of opportunities. Part of this awareness comes from training your mind to frame a situation and looking at it at a different angle.

The reason why many people lose motivation….

Many people think that one gets motivated by just thinking positive thoughts and then taking action on their goals. There are many other factors that determine a person’s level of motivation and inspiration. In order for you to be at a resourceful state, you have to surround yourself by people that are inspiring and that are motivating. If you spend time with people that are doing nothing with their life and complain about the lack of opportunities, then you will have the same perception of the world as them. Their lack of enthusiasm will also have a major impact on your state of mind.

To learn more about what causes dissatisfaction in your life, I suggest that you read The Reason You Feel Dissatisfied With Your Life

So what is stopping you from getting what you want out of your life?

For the past couple of years I have been paying careful attention to why there were some times where I was able to get a lot done during a certain day and why there were some days where I felt totally overwhelmed and couldn’t get anything done. I remember a time where I was sitting on my bed talking to myself saying, “Wow all these years of school yet still no ability to be productive”.

Why do some college graduates from top American schools fail to get to work and just getting things done? Why do some people work their asses off but have a hard time progressing further towards their ultimate goal or mission (that is if they even have a goal or mission in life)?  I do not have any secret to success tips to make you more productive. If you are looking for some secrets than you might as well just stop reading this blog and go look for some other material that has a combined bonus of “get rich quick package” or something.

Focus on what is important…..

Think carefully about whether you are focusing on what is important to you. Are you living in alignment with your values and goals every single minute, from the time you wake up to the time you got to bed? Most of us focus on the things that do not get us ahead in our lives. We are caught up thinking about problems that occurred in the past and the people that irritate us. Speakers like Tony Robbins and Brian Tracy always mention that in order for human beings to succeed, they have to have total clarity about how they want to live their life.

I may have mentioned this in some of my previous blogs, but I want to repeat it because you may have forgotten what the word clarity means!! Most of us are not clear about what we want in our lives so we come home after work and start browsing the web and pay attention to what other people are doing in life rather than paying attention to our lives. After 5 years we suddenly wake up regretting that we never paid attention to the things that were really important to us. Now we are in this shit hole and have no clue what to do!

Every single person has something or someone they value. The problem is that most of us are not prioritizing our days and planning our life accordingly. We focus on twenty things that don’t matter and forget about the three things that need our attention right away.

Start to set appointments…..

Do I necessarily mean set business meetings up? NO. I mean set appointments with yourself in other areas of your life as well. You don’t need to be an important person wearing a suit and tie to have meetings! But want to know something eye opening? You will definitely start to feel important if you set appointments in every area of your life. If you want to increase your sales numbers then you should be making appointments during the day, where all you do during that time period is send follow up emails and make follow up calls. If you want to increase the size of your biceps and want to get lean you HAVE TO make a habit of making an appointment with the gym for at least an hour a day where you go in and focus on getting your body in shape.

So how does making appointments help you get more done during the day? When you make an appointment and write down what you have to do during a certain time, you will mostly likely take quick action on your plan. Do you know why most people at the gym walk around and daydream for ten minutes after every set?  It is because they didn’t come in with a set plan for their workout therefore they walk around and don’t take their work out seriously at all.

Find your passion and do it “over and over” every single day…..

I remember when I started blogging I would only be able to write one blog post every two weeks because I wasn’t used to writing a lot every day. This became very frustrating because it would take me four to five hours to write down my ideas for one blog post. However, I found out that I was really passionate about writing therefore writing has now become a daily habit. Whenever I am next to a computer I can sometimes write a long blog post within a half hour. My overall point here is that if you find something you are passionate about and practice it every day, overtime it will become an easy task for you (you will be able to complete  the task faster).

Geoff Colvin, author of Talent is overrated, mentioned how he spent time with a lot of world class performers to study their behaviors and find out what makes them great at what they do. He found that many of the top athletes became world class performers by engaging in what he called deliberate practice. Deliberate practice is when one performs a specific task that is beyond their level of competence, which involves a repetition (until it is mastered).

Click the following link to read a great article written by Geoff Colvin:

http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/2006/10/30/8391794/index.htm

So what is the secret to getting more things done every day? Hopefully by reading the above points you can start putting the puzzle together by now!

Let me explain why your mind is dominating you…

Your mind is conditioned to avoid challenges and risk, so it comes up with all these fearful thoughts. Your mind starts building all these images (most of them are useless crap!!) about a specific outcome that will result from taking action. Since you were a child you have gone through experiences where you have been rejected in social gatherings. The reason you have a hard time building up your self-confidence is because you have suffered from negative experiences when you were a child…

So how on earth do you say what you feel like saying without giving a crap about what other people are going to think of you (if you master this you will be unstoppable and be the rock star of your life!……

STOP OVER ANALYZING CRAP and get to work…..The more you over analyze, the more you will end up living a mediocre lifestyle. You are going to start following specific formulas and won’t live life on your terms. Soon you are going to regret the time you didn’t say what you felt like saying to your partner, which would have made your relationship better. You are also going to regret the time you did not speak up to make a plan with your friends….Do you really want to live a life like this?

Tips on how to say what you feel like saying so you don’t feel inferior….

• Don’t think twice before saying what you feel like saying (Just say it and get it out of you). Pay careful attention to the world’s best comedians and you will notice that they don’t think too hard about what they are going to say. They just say what they feel like saying (sometimes it may be offending) and they get people laughing at them and paying $50 to come to their comedy shows…

• Make sure that you practice taking deep breaths everyday so that you are more present of how your body is feeling. When you take deep breaths during the day, you will feel more relaxed and will not get caught up in your noisy mind that is always talking to you.

• When talking to someone, don’t try to seek validation. If you go around wanting validation from other people, it shows that you have ZERO self-confidence. If you have a plan, mention it to your friends. If you think your joke is going to be amazing, spit it out without expecting anything in return. If people laugh at it they will and if they don’t than they won’t laugh (don’t worry about the outcome)

SAY WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE SAYING!

Sounds like a promising title right?

Can all life problems be solved easily?

While some life problems are hard to fix still there is an approach that most people who manage to get out of life problems always follow and thus if you used that same approach your ability to solve that problem will become much higher.

Here is what you need to do in order to solve any life problem

1) Take immediate action: when faced with a new challenge most people take a lot of time before they respond back. Some people even keep procrastinating and never respond back until it is too late.

When you don’t take immediate actions or when you stay a bit more in your comfort zone you will only end up with more bad feelings and a bigger unsolved problem. The best way to solve a life problem is to respond immediately right after it happens.

2) Try different solutions: Many people respond quickly to life problems but give up after trying a solution or two.  Life problems are usually not simple and solving them requires using a trial and error approach. You need to try to fix the problem using the first solution that comes to your mind and if it didn’t work you then need to think about a different solution and implement it.

Each time a solution fails you need to make sure that you learned why it failed so that you can avoid such a mistake later on. By time you will find that you have reached the right solution that can help you solve the problem.

3) Educate yourself : Some people reach as far as step 2 but never manage to solve their live problems. They keep trying and trying but their methods never work and the reason this happens is that they don’t educate themselves well.

You will never have all the knowledge needed to solve al the life problems you encounter and as a result you must understand that educating yourself is an essential step in solving many of the life problems you come across.

Here is a very simple example that illustrates this concept. If you got an error message from your PC that you never saw before then you can Google that error message to understand it in a better way. Of course life problems are not that simple but this is just an illustration that explains how some life problems can’t be solved without certain additional knowledge.

4) Persist: I am not saying that life is simple or that all problems can be solved in days or even weeks. Some life problems require months before they can be solved, some require long term plans that can years.

The good news is that as soon as your mind discovers that you are working on a solution that might work it won’t let you feel bad about the problem the way you have felt if you were not taking any actions. In short planning and doing your best to solve the problem will certainly help you feel better before you even solve the problem

Written by M.Farouk Radwan

The founder of http://www.2knowmyself.com

Learn how to accept rejection

There are going to be people that will not be a fan of your writing. You will also go through a lot of rejection when applying for guest blogging opportunities on other blogs. A few people will also write some harsh comments on your comment box about some of your posts. Many people have a hard time accepting rejection therefore they end up feeling frustrated and lose the motivation to keep blogging. You have to understand that if you want to progress further in your blogging career, you will have to deal with rejection very frequently. When you are asking other bloggers if you can write a guest blog, don’t get too emotionally or mentally attached to the outcome if you here the word “No”. If you take it too personally, you are going to lose motivation.

Focus on building a long term relationship with readers and writers

Many bloggers will not reply to comments and/or emails because they feel that they don’t have enough time. If you want more followers coming to you blog you have to learn how to build an authentic relationship with other writers as well as your blog readers. Many writers will create a blog and spend a lot of cash on making the website design perfect, however they don’t spend much time building relationships with other writers. Although your blog design is very important for attracting visitors, if you don’t communicate frequently and take interest in what they have to share, they are going to do the same and not take interest in you. Often times we over complicate life and we think that there is some secret formula for success. In the past I thought that if I just posted a few blogs, I would suddenly get a lot of traffic. The bottom line is that there is no secret sauce, but you have to put in the hours communicating with people in your field.

Don’t get caught up thinking about money when blogging

When you constantly think about how you are going to make money from your blog you are not going to focus on writing great content. In the past (when I was very new to blogging), I would get caught up thinking about how many people are going to click on my ads. Whenever I was thinking about money when writing, I would rush through my blog posts and wouldn’t focus on writing quality content. While writing your post, you should always visualize how your post will help readers rather than being obsesses about how many people are going to click on your ads.

So if you plan on starting a blog or writing your next post,make sure to apply the principles mentioned above. The only way you are going to build a blog that will be successful in the long run is if you approach your blogging journey with the correct mindset.

As I started acquiring more clients, I noticed that I was only paying attention to some of my clients and the rest of the accounts were left idle in my CRM system and were not being contacted (big mistake!!). One lesson to keep in mind, whether you have an offline business or online business, is that you have to be very consistent in your communication with all your clients or/and prospects. If you are a blogger, ask yourself how often you reply to all the comments and how engaging the comments are with all your readers. When I started my self-improvement blog a few years ago I would get comments on my posts but I never replied to most of them (all I did was focus on providing fresh content). Soon I realized that I wasn’t gaining much readership on my blog.  Keep in mind that there are a million different websites and/or businesses around the world that are competing with you, and the ones that can keep their clients in the long run are the ones that can build a solid relationship and communicate consistently .

Your clients are testing whether you are a long term thinker…

Your clients are paying careful attention to see if you are a long term thinker and care about the business relationship or if you are just there to make that quick sale or transaction. I get many sales people call me in my office and one thing I have realized about the incoming sales calls is that the sales person will just focus on asking a couple of questions and then ask me whether I am interested in buying or signing up for a service. Many sales people are also very pushy and are not really focused on understanding the client’s real problem. Whenever I have a sales meeting with a client, I always think ten years from now about where the business relationship will be with that client, as well as how their business can benefit from the marketing service that my company is providing.  I have seen people in the sales field complain and get frustrated about how they follow up with clients and never get return phone calls or emails. They say, “I have followed up and sent some helpful information through email, but I never heard back so I will forget about them.” The reason they don’t get responses back is because they weren’t focused on building the relationship in the first conversation they had.

Learn how to lead your client…

Clients love doing business with people that can lead them towards the right direction to solve their problem. Whenever I am responding to a lead I never act like an “order taker”, but instead I will listen carefully to what exactly the client’s Direct Marketing goal is, and then lead them towards the suitable direction that is right for their specific needs. When you can use leadership skills in sales it will make clients very comfortable doing business with you in the long run. People trust leaders because they feel safe around them and can smell the rock solid confidence. A common mistake sales people make when responding to a lead is just asking the client what they want. The fact is that your client may know what they want, but you will lose the hot lead you worked hard for the moment your prospect sees that you do not portray any leadership traits.

Forget about short term sales tactics…

If you use sales tactics with selling formulas and scripts you need to re-think and use a different approach in your selling. There is nothing wrong with a ready to use script, but one thing I have noticed a lot about sales scripts is that they are not original. If you decide to use a template or a script make sure that you modify it so it has your original wording on it. You don’t need to use any scripts if you have enough confidence and product knowledge. I get many sales emails which look like a copy paste template that show a lack of connection and warmth in the body of the email; I just delete them right away after reading the first two lines. Many people think that if they create a template for every client, then it will make selling easier. Although this is partially true, if the templates do not portray your true personality and show a lack of connection, your prospects will be able to feel that energy (even if it is in writing!).

So what are some things you can do to improve your relationship building skills in business?

• Show empathy in all your email and/or phone conversations
• Don’t wait longer than one business day to respond to client emails and requests
• Make sure you set a side one day per week to follow up with your warm leads
• Always put yourself in your clients’ shoes during your sales meeting to get a feel of what they want and what they are thinking
• Avoid judging your prospects. If you judge your prospects a lot, you will fail to establish connection and rapport with quality clients.